Since Harry and Megan announced their engagement in 2018, the media has been obsessed. Britain’s favourite Prince marrying a mixed race, American actress: it’s the epitome of progression. With the current fixation on identity politics, it is unsurprising that it continues to spark controversy and intrigue years later.
My Opinion
I have flip flopped on the issue a few times. At times I fell for the media’s spin of Meghan being a bad person and admittedly, I am tired of them still feeding the media's flames so far on.
Having been told they had wanted to resign from royal duties for a private life, I also felt frustrated. However, I have since realised, from watching their interview and docu-series that it was never about that, it was about being able to speak out for themselves. Considering the way the media, particularly in the UK, continues to chastise them, I can’t entirely blame them for doing this.
Thoughts on Megan and her character
I think that there needs to be a re-framing of the perspective. Instead of seeing it as Meghan failing to assimilate to the royal family, how about we say that the royal family failed to assimilate Meghan? It is difficult for anyone to enter a new family, especially when there are cultural differences involved. Can you imagine having to fit in with the British upper class - and not just with any family, the royal family whose traditions date back to medieval times.
There is also often a comparison between Meghan and Kate. Let’s not forget that Kate Middleton chose her University based upon the fact that Prince William was there. She was prepared and actively wanted that life. Her background also made it significantly easier. There will have been a lot less for her to adjust to.
Meghan has rarely, if ever, spoken negatively on the family. It seems that she was incredibly dejected and depressed that she couldn’t fit into the environment. She was already a strong advocate for many charitable causes before meeting Harry, it is one of the things that brought them together. A life of public service should have suited her character well but the feeling I get is that the restrictions of being royal, crushed her spirit. I genuinely believe that she could have done an incredible job if it truly was only about serving others. Unfortunately, this is not the case and she was too American, too outspoken and too black to fit in. The narrative of racism chasing her out, is valid. However, to claim it as the only cause would be disingenuous. It is all three of these factors which worked against her.
Megan speaking at the UN in 2016. Megan doing charity work in Rwanda in 2016.
Thoughts on Harry
Harry has a lot of resentments and childhood trauma which has always bubbled beneath the surface. Meghan and her treatment within the family has brought all of this to light.
The public have always known that Harry wished to have a more normal life. With hindsight, we can actually note his pain all along as he threw himself into drugs, partying, and the army. These are all forms of escapism.
Then he fell in love with Meghan. In his eyes, she should thrive as a working royal. When she didn't, he could suddenly see all the problems in the institution he was raised in; the true extent of what it takes to maintain the status quo within that setting. Seeing his wife be worn down by the same problems within the institution that he had, brought out all of the emotional problems he had been suppressing. Particularly, the trauma related to his mother.
He had this overwhelming need to protect and fight back. It seems that during their time as working royals, Harry was trying to deal with things internally. There certainly were attempts to adapt their roles to better suit their circumstances. On leaving, he was no longer held back by royal protocol. It was never about escaping for a private life. It was about breaking down the walls of his upbringing and having the ability to use his voice - for the first time, that must be difficult to navigate. With this in mind, it is easier to pallet their constant moves for media attention.
It is strange that people continue believing that Meghan is the driving force behind all this drama having known about Harry’s troubled past. It shows how the world still blames women for the actions of their partners. In my eyes, Meghan is the trigger but not the driving force.
The media and The Institution
The media have a close relationship with the royal family. I truly believe that if these two parties had wanted it to work out, it would have. For about a year, media headlines about 'The Big Four' were very positive. It presented hope for the future generation of royals. It then seems odd that the media suddenly shifted against the Sussexes. Even if Megan was being difficult as reports claim, why would the media run those headlines?
There must be another reason. I do not find the message of their Netflix series hard to believe which implied that there was a media agenda, endorsed by palace insiders to tear down Megan's popularity so that they wouldn't outshine the future monarchs. Simply seeing the scathing headlines for Megan versus Kate can show you this.
Regardless of your opinions of Megan and Harry, it seems strange to me that people still deny the media's hate campaign against them. This has even continued with the publication of his book. There is always a tendency to put a negative tone behind headlines about them.
That being said, I do not agree with the Sussexes continuous media releases. I don’t blame them for trying to set the record straight. However, they aren't only exposing the media agenda, they are also airing out family matters. In particular, Harry seems to have a vendetta against his brother. That’s fine but if he wants to fix the relationship as he claims, it should all have been kept private. It feels incredibly wrong to want to capitalise off of your family's problems.
It also seems far too self pitying. Harry is happy to scream and shout about his recently discovered white privilege but it isn’t just his white skin that makes him privileged. Let’s not forget that he still has millions of pounds and is the son of the King of England! As with everything, it has its own tribulations but it still puts him in a much more opportunistic position than almost all people. There doesn’t seem to be much acknowledgement of that. He’s preaching about how the institution has wronged him and his young family… how about all the people that it’s exploited throughout history?
So, why should everyone be upset?
By everyone, I suppose I mean members of the Commonwealth and British citizens. Whether you like or dislike the royal family, they play a significant role in the international relations and culture of the UK. A person of colour working as a senior royal certainly should have brought fresh and needed perspectives which would have ensured more stability for the institution moving forwards. When Meghan was struggling to stay in line, instead of helping her, they set the media on her. This makes the UK look bad and further promotes the already established notion that Britain is unwilling to adapt and evolve.
So, Royalists should be upset at what this fall out does for appearances of the country and the lost effect Meghan could have had on the royal family.
Non-royalists, in reality, are likely either unbothered by the events or unsurprised. However, those non-royalists who were excited at the prospect of change within the institution and a face within it representing more similar to the majority of those who lived in the commonwealth, should also be disappointed. Those who label the royal family out-dated were certainly validated by these events.
Overall, it’s a very complex problem which shouldn’t have been brought so abundantly into the public domain.
The issue began with the royals being unable to accept an outsider. It grew from the media and their relentless conspiracy theories and criticisms. Harry and Meghan have exacerbated it all with engaging in several TV interviews which continue to harp on the same message and uncomfortable airing of family matters.
Although, I do think the Sussexes were reasonable to want to share their side, one interview was probably enough. It seems unrealistic to say into a camera that you want to fix things with your father and brother whilst making money by telling the world about the many ways they have traumatised you. Everyone has a part to play here. It is all incredibly reactive.
Sadly, I don’t see the family resolving this issue. Especially as the family dynamic is shifting with the passing of the Queen and Prince Phillip.
(And I didn't even mention Prince Andrew's scandal and Prince William's alleged affair. Strange how the media brushed over that news in favour of bashing Harry and Megan though isn't it?)
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